I would like to explore the role that Marmee plays in helping the girls to become little women. Throughout the novel, the girls often run to Marmee for help with all of their problems or their shortcomings. For example, when Jo nearly let Amy drown in the river, she went to Marmee to ask for assistance in overcoming her anger (Chapter 8). In this way, she is quite helpful to the girls, and she offers guidance to them in their moments of great need. I think that Marmee is quite successful in turning her daughters into good women for the time, despite their varying personalities. She does this in a way that I would consider to be quite wise. Other than being a consolation in their times of struggle, Marmee does three other things that helped to mold her children.
One of these things is that she sets a good role model for the sisters. I think that young girls would find it very trying to be the women that Marmee wants them to be if she did not behave as she would have them do. The most obvious example of her model behavior is that she restrained her anger, much like she teaches Jo to do.
Another thing that Marmee does, is that she is constantly reinforcing her messages to her children. Early in the novel, she tells them many times that they need not be jealous of their wealthier friends, and that they should be content with their families. She told this lesson to Meg the most, especially following her trip to “Vanity Fair”(Chapter 9). I think that this constant reinforcement is very important, as young girls, like Meg, would be likely to forget the lesson when tempted with wealth again. While I think this reinforcement was helpful to some girls, it actually did not also prove useful. Meg still coveted expensive things, as shown when she buys the silk dress, but she’s has learned enough to return it upon realizing her mistake (Chapter 28). Therefore I think the reinforcement helped enough to allow Meg to see her mistake, even though she did still make it.
The last thing I noticed that Marmee did to mold her children was to let them fail on their own sometimes. For example, she allowed Amy to fail at her attempt at a party, in hopes that she would learn it was not worth it to have the fancy party, and a simpler one would have gone better (Chapter 26). I think that sometimes allowing someone to fail will better solidify the message in their brains. Amy showed how far she has come at the fair, where she, still reluctantly, gives up her table for a lesser one, and then comes out on top. It seems then that her lesson stuck better than the reinforcements Meg received. I think that before that point, Amy would have made a much bigger deal out of losing the prime location.
I agree that Marmee is a great role model for her daughters, especially when looking at her through the eyes of the society of the time. As we discussed at the beginning of this class, it is important to remember that the characters we are reading about lived in different time periods and, as a result, much different cultures than we live in today. Marmee is a kind and patient woman, and she shows this time and time again throughout the novel. However, I think that not only is Marmee a great role model for her daughters, but she is also a wonderful example for parents.
ReplyDeleteOne point of yours that I would like to respond to is about Marmee reinforcing her messages to her children. As you pointed out, she repeats herself multiple times when giving “lessons” to her daughters. This in itself speaks a lot about Marmee’s character. I’m sure we can all remember times in our lives that our parents told us not to do something, we did it anyway, and it ended badly. But think about the way your parents reacted to your disobedience. Were they as kind and patient as Marmee? Unless you have really incredible parents with impressive self-control, you have likely received an “I told you so” speech. This definitely seems to be the most natural response for a parent. But instead, Marmee always reacts with kindness and incredible patience—every single time. As Amy and Jo both note, Marmee’s kind parenting does more for them than any "reproachful" scolding ever would.
Marmee is absolutely a great role model for her daughters. I am in complete agreement. I believe one thing that Marmee does that really seals in her status as a great role model is that she is not perfect herself. Near the beginning of the novel, Marmee seems to be an unrealistically infallible character, with patience and wisdom coming so naturally to her. But, slowly throughout the novel, Marmee's weaknesses are revealed.
ReplyDeleteYou mentioned how she told Jo that she had to learn to control her own anger through time and hard work, but I believe there is another, more telling example of Marmee teacing her children through examples from her own life. I am referring to when Meg is seeking advice on how to balance her time with John and her children. Marmee tells her that she cannot devote herself wholly to her children and says, "I know it, Meg, for I've tried it; and I seldom give advice unless I've proved its practicability" (p. 392). This line spoken by Marmee not only is a great example of her teaching a lesson through example, but it also lays out her philosophy on parenting. She only gives her children advice when she has been in their same situations. Using her shortcomings as examples for her children not only allows her to provide them with the best advice, but it also shows her children that no one is perfect and even their own mother must work hard not to make the same mistakes they are making.
Marmee definitely sets a positive example for her girls in the novel. As you showed, Marmee leads by example displaying the virtues which she wishes her daughters to have as well as constantly working in little lessons to their lives.
ReplyDeleteBy giving the girls a degree of freedom, I think she also teaches her girls valuable lessons. The girls must work in order to support the family, but it seems as if each job is individually suited to its taker. The girls also each have their own specific hobby, which is interesting for the time as many young women were pressured to excel in all lady-like activities such as music, art and languages. This idea is shown in the novel when Amy is chosen over Jo to go away with her Aunt, simply because she is more lady-like and speaks better French. The freedom Marmee allows the girls lets them be happy, but more importantly allows the girls to find their own place in society when they are not in fact little women anymore, but women.
Marmee's grooming of the girls is especially seen in the second part of the novel when the girls go their separate ways and start their own lives. Each ends up in what seems to be the perfect place for them despite personal tragedies, such as poverty, losing Beth and the trials of love.
Marmee's lectures, trials, example, and allotment of freedom give the little women the true skills to be great, and also happy women.
Marmee is definitely portrayed as one of the so-called "flawless" characters in the novel. She has an overwhelming sense of virtue and patience towards her children, and spends a majority of the chapters concluding the girl's wrongdoings with consequences and a moral to top it off. Marmee also goes to represent one who has succeeded in "womanhood." For example, as you mentioned, Marmee used to be like Jo, having an uncontrollable, horrifying temper. However she now has been able to bottle away this aspect of herself, as this aspect of her personality would cause much trouble if let loose. She is the prime example of what the girls are expected to grow up and become. She gives them the freedom to be who they want, learn from their mistakes, and figure out what traits are best left put away. As you mentioned, she lets her children fail on their own, giving them a degree of independence this way. They are left to their own devices to discover life, then Marmee serves as the final tie in the knot, sealing the concept on what is the right thing to do. She wants nothing but the best for her children and works selflessly to make sure they grow up to be "true gentlewoman" with a perfect marriage, living life to the fullest.
ReplyDeleteI too believe that Marmee sets a great example for her children in the book. I believe the trait she possesses that has the most impact on her daughters is that she acts as she wishes them to act. As children, we are often angry when a parent tells us that we can't do something, and then they go ahead and do that thing. Marmee practices what she preaches to her daughters at all times. The example you highlighted in Chapter 8 is the perfect example of this.
ReplyDeleteI also believe that Marmee's role is as a conscious to her daughters. Oftentimes in the book, the girls feel guilty for their selfish ways, and think to themselves how Marmee would've acted, and whether she would feel good about what they've done. In the first chapter, they decide to give up their dollars for Marmee because they believe that she deserves it, as she has given up so much for them.
I believe that this also relates to your point of how Marmee shapes the girls' values.
Marmee gets her messages across to her girls by repetition and practice. In addition to your example of Amy's failed party, when she lets the girls go without work for a few days in Chapter 11, she is letting them learn their lessons on their own through struggling, which is another theme that we have touched upon in class discussion that appears repeatedly throughout the text.
The role that Marmee plays in Little Women, in terms of molding her daughters into ‘little women’ is extremely valuable. The component of her shaping her children that resonated with me most is the aspect of her letting them fail. She intentionally lets them fail at times in order to show the girls consequences of events rather than tell them. This aspect of parenting is not one that I recognized out of Marmee initially. Initially I would have only recognized that she was a great role model for her girls as she is always demonstrating how to be a proper and kind woman. For example, Marmee always was thinking of others as they provided a Christmas meal for the Hummel’s (Chapter 2). She always was using her actions to teach the girls how they should be carrying themselves. I think that the idea of her letting the girls fail has been overlooked in the analysis of Little Women. This changed my view of Marmee in a positive way as at times she can seem a bit preachy with verbal lessons over and over again. I am eager to see how Marmee continues to support yet teach her daughters lessons and how to become ‘women’.
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