Even though the author, Kazuo Ishiguro, felt he represented three fundamentally good characters in Never Let Me Go it is hard to see Ruth as one of these. Ruth always seemed to be more controlling and demanding than a good friend. Even near the end when she told Tommy and Kathy that they should be together and try to apply for a referral I don't think that makes up for what she did.
While Ruth might have just been immature in the ways she treated Kathy I don't think that is an excuse for her behavior. When Ruth was telling Kathy after becoming a donor how she had lied to Kathy about her urges she said "I knew how it worried you...I should have told you. I should have said how it was the same for me too, just the way you described it" (232). Here Ruth is admitting that she knew she was wrong and seeing that they were at the cottages for more than a year it is easy to assume that Ruth realized it was wrong when she originally lied to Kathy too and just chose not to apologize or fix the issue until she was on her deathbed.
Ruth also kept Tommy away from Kathy for years. She also knew about the rumor of deferrals while at Hailsham and believed it then, but she and Tommy didn't apply for one. She admits in the end of the story that she knew they were right for each other, but it seems like if she had really cared about them she would've told them to apply for a referral sooner since she and Tommy weren't going too.
Overall, I think Ruth's form of an apology to Kathy and Tommy was not actually enough to make up for her years of mistreatment. For the majority of Kathy's life she had lied to her and kept her unhappy even though she knew what she was doing was wrong. I don't think Kathy owed it to her to be her carer and forgive her in the end just because she was near death since Kathy's short life probably would have been a lot happier without her.
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