Why does Ruth seem to be such a bad friend to Kathy?

At first glance, I think it is easy to denounce Ruth as not only someone who is constantly a bad friend to Kathy but also as a rather loathsome person. Kathy often makes remarks that suggest with her broadened, older perspective she can understand Ruth better. However, I think upon closer examination Ruth is, to be sure a flawed character, but I think that she is within the bounds of understandable, if not normal behavior.  I feel that her appearance of being flawed and even cruel is largely due to the fact that Kathy is narrating rather than Ruth herself.

Ruth shows throughout the novel that she is a rather flawed individual. She constantly needs to be the center of attention, from her secret society to protect Miss Geraldine stretching all the way to her sulky petulant behavior at the cottages. In her relationship with Kathy she seems to be consistently trying to gain the upper hand. It is precisely this that makes Kathy such an unreliable or at the least highly subjective narrator. There is a decided power struggle between the two characters which renders Kathy unable to be an objective narrator. If Ruth was the narrator I think her inner monologue would make her actions seem less cruel and more understandable.

Ruth’s apparent animosity and cruelty is clearly exemplified on two of the occasions she mentions Tommy. In their Hailsham days, Ruth has Kathy try and talk Tommy back into his relationship with Ruth (103-104). In the later years of the cottages, Ruth preys upon one of Kathy’s deep fears when she informs her that Tommy only thinks of Kathy as a friend and “‘doesn’t like girls who have… well, you know, been with this person and that’” (201). From Kathy’s perspective both were pretty evil things to do. However, the reader must consider that Ruth must feel threatened by Kathy and her easy relationship with Tommy. Ruth also must know that given the chance Kathy and Tommy would have drifted together, which seems only natural to those who have read Kathy’s account. Yet, Kathy was Ruth’s best friend and it would have been a pretty egregious act for Kathy to immediately swoop in and start dating her best friend’s ex. Not to mention the fact that as a trio they have a bond of comparable strength between all the parties. Ruth and Kathy are best friends, Tommy can share confidences with Kathy, and Ruth and Tommy are dating. If Ruth suddenly lost the bond with Tommy and Kathy and Tommy’s bond had strengthened, the little Hailsham trio would be thrown off kilter and left Ruth disconnected from the two most important people in her life. While Ruth’s intentions may not justify her actions, I think that delving into her perspective completely transforms the events that transpire.

Thus, I believe the perspective from which one views the events that transpired between Ruth and Kathy can drastically shift the moral implications.